TRUST
Mood:  happy
Good Morning. Yesterday I touched base about patience in a relationship. I even touched base about some of the trials I am facing in my own. Today I want to touch base about trust in a relationship. For anyone that has ever had trouble with this area I would like to share a few thoughts today on this topic. Without trust in a relationship you have no relationship. You must learn to trust yourself first before you can trust others. Trust is not something that is automatically given in any circumstance. Trust is something earned, and when you have done something to betray someones trust it is not so easy for them to be able to do that. Trust is gained. We are all human beings and we do tend to make mistakes. After all we are all born into sin to begin with. That does not justify us to continue to follow that path. In a relationship, time spent with your partner builds a trust factor. There will be times when both of you may be facing an ordeal that is difficult for you. Decisions will have to be made, and trust is something that needs to be exercised during this period for both of you. Both of you in the relationship deserve that much. If you cannot trust then you are insecure in your relationship and if you are insecure how can you expect this relationship to work? It won't. I will give you a prime example that leads back to yesterdays discussion regarding patience. When your partner or yourself for that matter needs a little space or time to face the issues they have at hand, while exercising patience during this time, the trust factor comes into play. You have to trust that your partner is doing all he or she can to overcome their obstacles, yet still loving you and trying to maintain what they have with you. Of course as human beings the red flag alert will come up, conclusions will be made before the evidence is presented and a verdict will be reached without even taking the time to utilize trust. When you are deeply in love with someone and they tell you they need time or space you may jump to that conclusion that oh great its over. I am being dumped. Did I ever mean anything to them to begin with? How could they do this to me? Is there someone else? So many thoughts and questions run through your mind. If you learn to trust and your relationship is strong, these red flags should not come up at all. You should be able to say, ok I respect the fact that you are going through something right now and I want you to know I am here to help you through it. Whenever you need me I am there. The worst thing to do is place demands on anyone. There are no ultimatums in a relationship. There is strength , unity, love and understanding to name a few attributes. All you can do is continue to love them and be there for them. They will end up loving you more and respecting you more, and your love and relationship with them will strengthen. Trust in the love you have, trust in the relationship that you have, trust yourself, but most importantly trust them. I know this is not easy for some people. Especially if you have been hurt or betrayed in the past. But you must look at it like this for a moment. Not everyone in this world is going to inflict hurt and pain on you. Every situation is different. I know from my own experience that yes I was hurt badly in the past. I never believed that I could trust or love anyone again. When I least expected it, it happened. The love that I have for my man is so strong and so beautiful and I feel that love returned to me as well. Did I jump to conclusions? of course the human being side of me did. However, I trust the man that I love with all of my heart and soul. As I stepped back I realized that our love or relationship is not in question. He is going through an ordeal that is difficult for him at this point in time. Having the distance between us is very hard, but I know that our love and trust will get us through it, and through any ordeal we face in the future. If I didn't trust him fully I would not be able to say this. You know the saying I can forgive but not forget? Perhaps you are saying this to yourselves, but understand that with forgiveness, you can forget. you may not think you can, but you can. Love can move mountains and if you trust, no mountain is too high for you to climb. Relationships do take work on both parts. Not every day is all peaches so to speak. Any trials you go through can be worked through whether you decide to stay together, or to part. Utilize all you have to make it work. Open communication is something that you have to have in any relationship. That is another topic I will touch base on through another blog. Keep your lines of communication open, your love for one another strong, and above all trust. trust in each other, and the relationship that you have. There is some food for thought for the day. Nourish your relationship with that and you will see that trust will only strengthen, not weaken what you have.

Learning to be patient
Mood:  lucky
There are so many things that come into play in a relationship in order for that relationship to survive. A very important attribute to possess in a relationship is that of patience. It is so hard to exercise patience in a relationship, and I know this first hand. You can be in a relationship for a short time or a long time, but patience is always going to play a part. I will give you an example. You can think that things are going so well in your life and your relationship with your significant other. If there really isn't a total open line of communication you could be blind sighted to the fact that perhaps your partner isn't feeling the same way as you, or maybe they are but they need to separate themselves for a while. They could tell you that they need time or space. This is where patience comes into play. You have heard that old saying if you love someone set them free, if they come back to you they were yours, if they don't then they never were. Oh how hard it is to set them free. How do you set someone free that you love so much. Someone that means the entire world to you and then so much more. Someone who you think of every second of the day, someone who you want to share the rest of your life with. Well I will tell you this much. It is an aching of the heart that hurts immensely. You have to step back and re-evaluate the situation. If you love that person as much as you say you do or think you do, then you have to step back and give your partner the respect, honor and courtesy of abiding by their wishes and this is not something that is so easy to do. I know this. It is absolutely killing me to do this, but I know that one of two things will happen. It will either strengthen my relationship even more, or if the relationship comes to an end while my partner is taking space, then I have to come to the realization that it was never meant to be. I know some of you think that is an understatement to say the least, but it is reality. If I lose during this period of absence from my partner, I know it will be the most difficult time in my life that I have to undergo. However, I can honestly say that I love and respect my partner so much that I gave him this opportunity to straighten out the issues that he was dealing with, and that I wasn't doing it for myself, I was doing it for us. I am learning to exercise patience on a daily basis. It doesn't come all at once. I have to take one day at a time and make the most out of it. I try so hard to get through this and you might how do you exercise this patience? I am not calling him. Yes I will send an email a day to say hello, but I don't get into the why do you have to do this to me scenerio. He doesn't need that. You cannot commit to a person totally if you have issues that you need to work on yourself. When your partner asks for space, its for a reason. The most important attribute is trust and if you trust your partner you will not second guess the situation. I trust the man that I love completely with all of my heart and soul, and with my life. Therefore, I could not question his motives. If I lose him for good, I still don't have the right to question him. Of course I am human of course I will be angry and outraged and devastated beyond description. Losing someone you love is the hardest thing to endure. Often times as human beings we lash out when our feelings are hurt. Patience comes into play here as well. Think before you speak. Words hurt alot more than bruises because bruises will go away, but the words never will. The best advice I could give is to occupy yourself with other things while you are learning to exercise your paitence. Of course you will think of them, but try to occupy yourself with hobbies, or good friends. Try to get out as much as possible so that you are not home becoming entirely depressed over the whole situation. Calm your feelings with the fact that you trust your partner. When they are ready, no matter what the outcome, you have done all you can do, and that it is always best to part on the good terms. Yes it is right to believe in your partner, but believe in yourself too.